Springtime in New York
by VoicesFromADistantStar
Summary: kinda Autumn in New York meets Love Story. Blair gets fatality ill and tries her best to keep in from everyone, and her life from falling completely apart. will eventually be c/b .. M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Gossip Girl or any of the characters. If I did there would def. be no Vanessa!

So, I haven't written a story in like 5 years, bear with me. I have a feeling this one may be a little cheesy. But it's a story that has been stuck in my head for awhile. And I need it out. It's kinda Love Story meets Autumn in New York. Blair gets fatally ill and tries her best to keep it from everyone and to keep her life from falling apart. Will eventually be C/B, of course, because of rules are arbitrary when death is on the table. M for later chapters.. 

**Wakey wakey Upper East Siders. Today is Equinox. First day of spring. And I'm hoping a change in season will hopefully bring a change in these cold gloomy hearsays. I'm sick of these sad scandals. I'm hoping you all will bring we some scorching news to match these sizzling sunny skies**

**You know you love me**

**Xoxo**

**Gossip Girl**

After reading Gossips Girl's latest message, Blair smiled at herself in the bathroom mirror. "This season is going to be sunny. No more bitter sexually active teachers. No more upsetting love triangle with Nate and –yuck- Vanessa. And especially no self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish, selfless guys named Chuck. Two more months of Constance and then Yale here I come."

She looked at her reflection and straightened out her brown curls. Her hair seemed excessively coiled this morning. As she reached for the hair brush she felt sudden wave a tunnel vision. She was able to clutch the bathroom sink before her knees gave out. After her vision came back she let out a sign and continued to brush her hair. These occurrences were nothing new, just meant that she had to eat a piece of fruit or toast to get her stamina up. A girl can't live on Vitamin Water alone. Plus she had been fleeing a bit flu-ish the past week. Enough eating disorder nonsense, she had school in a half an hour and her makeup was barely done. She pressed a crimson cream tube of lipstick to her mouth and that's when she noticed the trickle of blood running from her right nostril. "Gross," Blair declared before cleaning herself up with a bathroom tissue. Blood quickly filled the single sheet of tissue, causing Blair to grab the entire roll of toilet paper to press against her nose. "Oh my god…" She sat on the toilet and titled her head up in attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Blair, breakfast! We've got bagels!' Cyrus called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Coming, I have to finish my makeup!" she replied." Without waiting for the bleeding to stop and still having to hold the large wad a tissue to her face, Blair proceeded to try to apply a coat of mascara, only to smudge it on her upper lid. She began to tear up from the unfortunate circumstances that were preventing her from looking her best. Throwing the mascara applicator down into the sink, Blair swore under her breath and tried to wipe the black stain away with her hand. Blair felt another sudden rush a fatigue. She knew then that it wasn't the cause of bulimia. She had been able to function with full steam while having nothing in her stomach for many years now. This was different. This was scary.

"Dorota!" Blair managed to call before falling into the bathroom door, dropping the bloody bundle of tissues. Her nose then profusely steamed blood down her face and onto her Donna Karen ivory blouse. Her vision again tunneled in on her and all her strength gave out. Distantly she could hear the cries of a woman, Dorota…maybe her mother… something about on ambulance. Strong hands were holding her face trying to pry her eyelids open.. a light…a gurney…then blackness.

*****

Blair came to in the hospital. Her mother, Cyrus and Dorata along with an old doctor were in the room. "Mom…" Blair's soft voice broke through her dry lips.

"Oh my god she awake. Doctor she's awake!" Eleanor Waldorf spoke hysterically. The next two hours of Blair's were excruciating. Four times Blair had to recall the morning events with four different doctors. She was more fatigue than ever from having her blood drawn for what seemed like an eternity in hell. Still, there were no answers, no reasons for the sudden mishaps. Then finally, it was lunch time, a time when there were no doctors in her room interrogating her and pricking her with sharp objects. It was just her and her mother. Eleanor was stroking her daughter's check, trying to fight back the matronly tears that were already trickling down her chin.

"Mom," Blair silently smiled, "I'm gonna be fine. It's just fatigue."

"I know sweetie. It's just scary having all these doctors and nurses and," Eleanor let out a sigh of disgust, "this hospital is atrocious! They want to keep you here overnight for observation. I told them there is no way in hell I'm letting you stay in this motel of a hospital. "Blair smile and her and Eleanor shared a much needed laugh.

"Mom..I'm Ok…right?"

"Oh darling, I'm sure you're fine. I bet it's just dehydrations and stress. You have been working very hard your senior year" Eleanor gave her daughter a reassuring kiss on the forehead. "You should be able to home by dinner time. Oh, here," she handled Blair her cell phone. "This thing has been ringing on the hook. "

"Thanks," she glanced down after phone 4 new text messages and 6 missed calls all from Serena.

"Blair honey, regrettably I have to run into the office right now. Nothing seems to function without me there. I hope you don't mind. Cyrus is in the cafeteria if you need him. I don't know how he eats the food here."

Blair reached up for a hug. "I'm glad you were here with me this morning."

"Here," Eleanor handed her a tube of lipstick. "You look like a ghost." And with that her mother was gone.

Her phone vibrated again. 5 new text messages:

**B-**

**Where R U?**

**-S**

**B-**

**Should I tell the teacher youre sick?**

**-S**

**B-**

**Hope your okay and Im just overacting. Text me back!!!!!!**

**-S**

**B-**

**Lunchtime ard still no word. Come on B.**

**-S**

**B-**

**If you were gonna play hooky, you shoulda invited me. We make much better chemistry than Mr. Lingstern's 10 30 class.**

**-C**

Blair gave a noise of repulsion from the last text messages, but secretly smiled because she loved that Chuck watched for her during lunch hours.

**-S**

**Sorry!! Didn't have my phone. I'm home sick with the flu. Should be better tomorrow. **

**-B**

Blair couldn't get herself to type black-out or hospital. Even though her mother said she would be fine, she could see the worry and fear in her eyes. Something was different. Something was wrong.

Bleh. I hate intros. Chapter 2 should be up sooooooon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh where oh where is our little Queen B? Oh where oh where can she be? Missing school is one thing. But who has ever heard of Blair Waldorf missing a charity brunch? Especially when her mother is the hostess. I think it's time we all played one of my favorite games: Where's Waldorf?**

**XoXo**

**Gossip Girl**

It had been three weeks since Blair was diagnosed with leukemia. Acute Myeloid Leukemia to be precise. Blair had to Google it several times to further understand what the doctors told her. Everything had spiraled downward so fast. She had barely time to think about her third session of chemotherapy.

She sat down in the brown leather chair in the out-patient care center and took out her phone. "I'm sorry there is no cell phone usage once your seated," a plump nurse informed Blair. Blair, irritated, stood up and texted Serena before closing her phone and sticking it back in her purse, slyly smiling directing at the nurse while doing so.

**S-**

**Slept in. Have a bad headache. Sorry I had to miss the brunch, hope it wasn't too much of a bore. Hopefully will be in school later**

**-B**

She closed her eyes tightly and pursed her lips and the nurse ran an alcohol swab over inner left arm. "OK, I'm going to insert the needle in now Ms. Waldorf. Please remember to breath." Unknowingly Blair had been holding her breath. She breathed out slowly as the nurse stuck her with the large needle hooked up to bag a poison. Cold liquid quickly filled her veins which made her shiver. Responsively the nurse gave Blair a thin blue blanket, the kind the airlines give you when you are forced to fly coach. She leaned her head back in the seat and tried to think of something else. But as of recently the dominating feature in her life was her illness.

"_Mom, I'm not going to Baltimore for treatment! New York is fine and Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center was ranked number 2 in the East Coast," Blair argued with her mother on the verge of tears._

"_Number two isn't good enough. Honey, please understand how important this is. It's literally life and death."_

"_Yes I know, but it's MY life and death. And I'm staying in New York. That's final!"_

Blair would stay in New York. She would continue with school and treatment at the same time. And soon once treatment would be over, and she'll be fine. Or at least she hoped so. Blair hands grew very cold and began to shake. Why didn't she remember to bring gloves this time? Again, she tried to imagine something else, besides the frozen toxins flowing through her.

"_I dunno Mom. This is too short and it has bangs. Bangs are so 2006." Blair said looking into the mirror of New York's best wig shop._

"_Well Blair, there really aren't a lot of options. All of the human hair ones are short. And I am not having you parade around the town with a polyester wig. People will think your Britney Spears." She went to her daughter and straightened out her soon to be new hair. "I think you looked good with a bob."_

_Blair gave her mom a foul look. "I look like a 3 year old girl!"_

"_You look fine. It'll go well with all of those head bands you have. And I'd consider us lucky we found a brunette, just like your natural hair."_

"_Lucky!' Blair cried hysterically. "Yes, it's so lucky my senior year I have leukemia and have to have chemo and am going to lose my hair that I've been growing out since I was a little girl." Blair grabbed the wig off of her head and threw it on the ground, clutching her still there chocolate brown locks._

_Eleanor looked sensibly at the owner of the store. "We'll take it."_

Blair motioned for the nurse to quickly get a waste basket. Apparently she only had green bile in her stomach, which made her throat burn horribly. She would never get used to the unpleasant flu symptoms the chemotherapy produced. At least when she was bulimic Blair had the satisfaction of having an amazing body. But just in the past couple of weeks her body has become feeble and ghastly thin, like the women her mother hires to walk the runway, which would be passable except that all of the color has gone from her as well, especially in her face. Plus she had been bruising like a peach every time she came in contact with any object. She currently had a wicked bruise on her left backside and shoulder due to the unfortunate slippery stairs vs. high heels incident. To top it off her hair had already begun to thin out, which hid with ponytails and large head scarves. Blair tried her best to go unnoticed. She dressed excessively in frills and bulky jackets. But soon the temperatures would rise and her body would have to be seen in sheer fabrics and shirts designed for springtime. Blair sighed, fifteen more minutes in the chemo process. She wiped her mouth and closed her eyes and tried her best go somewhere else in her head. School. _What is everyone doing at school?_ Blair wondered.

**********

"God I can't believe Blair is missing another day of school! A few days was understandable but even Gossip Girl is noticing her disappearance. I'm really starting to worry." Serena vented to Dan, her now not quite boyfriend but still best guy friend friend.

"I'm sure she's fine. I bet she just had a bad nose job or something and needs some time to heal," Dan pathetically joked.

"No. I know Blair she would never get plastic surgery under the age of forty."

"Serena, I was joking.."

"Oh," Serena shrugged. "I knew that.

"She probably just has a really bad stomach flu or something." Dan put his arm around her. "You're worrying too much.

"No. I mean I know. It's just Blair is _never_ sick. And even when she is sick she still shows up to school like everything's fine. She hates when people know that she's ill," she tell out a much needed sigh. "I'm really scared her eating disorder is back. I mean, some freshman girl did hear her throwing up in the bathroom," Serena rationalized her conclusion.

"_Allegedly_ heard her throwing up," Dan corrected. "Which actually makes perfect sense for a person that has the flu." Serena shot him one of her looks.

"Dan, you can't deny that she's gotten extremely thin recently. Like abnormally extremely thin, even for Blair. She did this her freshman year too," Serena explained. "Then her mom sent her away for a month to a clinic in Maine and Blair returned her normal self."

"See then if this is the case then she will be fine."

"You don't understand Dan. She didn't tell anyone her freshman year. I had no idea what happened to her. She went through it all by herself because of her pride. And I was too busy and selfish to notice. I just don't want her to go through another eating disorder episode alone… again."

"Listen Serena. It's not your fault you didn't know. I know Blair is a stubborn person. If she wants to keep something to herself, she will. But I'm sure she's a lot more grown up since freshman year and if it's something serious she will tell you about," He reassured Serena. "But honestly, I don't know anything. Have your tried asking her entourage? Dan motioned towards Penelope, Isabel and Hazel.

"They wouldn't know anything." Serena saw Chuck walking out from the hallways of St. Jude. "But I know who might. Chuck!" Serena shouted at him before he entered his limo. Chuck turned around a smirked at her while she ran after him.

"There's not need to go chasing after me sis." He stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned his body against the car door.

"Chuck have you seen Blair recently?"

"Hmm. She and I haven't really been on speaking terms since my dear old uncle went back to Australia. Why don't you ask Nate? He's shared a bed more recently with her that I have."

"You know since Vanessa and Nate cleared up their misunderstandings Blair has had nothing to do with him. Come on, don't be so covetous," Serena joked while tugging at Chuck's sour look between her thumb and index finger.

"Learn a new word of the day S?" Chuck slapped her hand away from his face.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Some of us actually go to our English class and learn to expand our vocabulary," Serena smiled smugly, which quickly faded. "But seriously, Chuck. Have you noticed something peculiar about her lately?"

Oh course he had. But he would never admit his concern completely. "Now that you mention maybe she has been a bit nonexistent recently, in her attendance and her physical presence. But doesn't she just have the flu?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that? Come on, you know it is something more than that."

"Perhaps, but, you may be reaching Serena."

"Maybe. But, I dunno. Do you think you can help me find out what she's been up to lately?"

"Well, I guess I haven't called my P.I recently and I'm not paying him for nothing…" Chuck took out his phone.

"No. Chuck, be normal. I mean ask her what's going or when you see her or maybe…" Serena cringed "…check on her at home. But only if you have to!"

"Oh sis if you play it nicely you'll never get down to the cold truth."

"So you will help me?"

"Well. I have been bored lately. And I'm due to be involved in new scandal soon, so yes."

"Thank you thank you thank you. No private investigator though," Serena pointed a finger at him. "We are her friends, remember that. Text me if you find anything out, ok?

"Ok," And with that Chuck got into his limo. "Driver," he instructed, "we have a detour to make."

**Careful B, wherever you are. Look like S is gathering a search party. And what's a party without Chuck Bass?**

**XoXo**

**Gossip Girl**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so sorry everyone. It took me, what half a year to get this up. well ya know life gets busy. But I really do love this story so im gonna continue it while I can. Thanks for all the comments. Love em!! As a treat for waiting you get the first M chapter of the story (warning sexsexsex), but a lot of sadness.

So a lot has happened in REAL gossip Girl time. Just remember this story started mid season 2 and now has its our AU.**

Lovelovelovelove 3

p.s im kinda off on my timing of this, so just assume it's been about 1 to 2 weeks from the last chapter and Chuck is still stalking Blair to find out what is wrong with her. :/

******************

As Blair turned on the water to her shower she could hear her mother yelled from downstairs. "Make sure to keep the door open!" Blair turned to the door and opened it a few inches with detestation.

"It's open mother!" Her mother insisted that she left the bathroom open since her dreadful fall a few days earlier, leaving her unconscious. Unable to open the locked door, her mother had to call the concierge, causing an enormous catastrophe, which resulted in her mother Cyrus and the concierge all seeing her frail naked body. Blair de-robed and stepped into the steaming shower. This was her only sanctuary from her apprehensive family. She reached for the shampoo, squeezing out the tiniest amount to apply to her barely-there hair. Alas, her follicles held onto her hair as long as they could. She knew it had been one shower to many as she pulled the matted clumps of hair from her head. She repressed her anger, silently making peace with her hair loss and finished her shower.

After stepping out of the shower and dressing herself in her favorite robe, she stared at herself in the mirror. The left side of her hair was now mostly bald. Not even a Donald Trump comb over could repair this catastrophe. Still, Blair remained stoic, all she could see looking back at her was a corpse. She let one single tear run all the way down to her chin before she wiped it away. "Dorota," Blair called quietly, knowing she was just outside the door. Dorota opened the door and enter, covering her mouth to hold back the shock. "Dorota, would you mind getting Cyrus electric shaver?"

When Dorota returned Blair was seating in her desk chair she moved from her bedroom to sit in front of the mirror. "Would you mind? I'm afraid I would just mess it up," Blair request.

"Oh miss Blair.. I don't know.."

"Please?" Blair inquired in a louder tone "I just.. I can't do it myself and I don't want to be half bald for my doctor's appointment today. I just need it to be done. Please." Dorota nodded. Blair unplugged her hair dryer, throwing it in the trash, so Dorota would have an open outlet for the shaver. Dorota was already tearing up before she even touched the razor to Blair's head. By the time she was finished she was bawling. "Oh Dorota, don't cry. It's just hair," Blair said as she ran her hand across her hairless head, attempting to give a smile. But involuntarily Blair began crying too. She placed her face in her hands and wept hard. Dorota collapsed to her knees and hugged Blair. They cried together for a long time, knowing it wasn't about hair.

*****************************

"I thought you said I was doing well, that we had a chance at the cure. Or that I at least had a couple years left." Blair pleaded with poise to her doctor, while struggling to sit comfortably of the sterile hospital bed. "What…what changed?" Blair tried her hardest to keep composure, despite the fact that her entire life was presently coming to an end.

"I'm very sorry Miss Waldorf. Your body is not reacting to the chemotherapy as quickly as we had hoped. The myeloblasts and monoblasts are still crowding around the bone marrow. Because of this, remission is looking less and less likely. Your recent test results show evidence that the AML cells have spread through your nervous system, mainly in the spine. I am sorry, but this rules out hematopoietic stem cells transfer as a treatment option. I wish we would have caught the disease earlier on. Unfortunately, it went untreated for so long that the leukemia's progression is now extremely rapid, which is very common with AML."

"English please," Blair instructed. She never understood why doctors went to extensive lengths to explain things, when they know it goes over their patient's heads.

"Blair," Dr. Fleming took a dramatic pause and placed his hand on her shoulder. "There is nothing more that modern medicine can do. We will continue with chemotherapy in hopes of remission. But chances of that happening are highly unlikely. Your leukemia is now terminal. "Blair's face gave an expression of both surprise and defeat.

"How long," Blair asked strictly. "Just how long do I have?" Her eyes swelled with tears that fell without blinking. As hard as she willed her body, she could not keep from crying.

"A few months. Possibly, with improvement, half a year." Dr. Fleming replied somberly. "Of course we will have to keep you under observation in our clinic full time."

Blair shook her head. "No. I don't want that."

"Miss Waldorf without constant observation the chances of mortality will increase from 80% to 95%. Plus your longevity will greatly decrease to a matter of months. I highly suggest you stay under our care full-time."

With the elegance that Blair could always muster in difficult situations, taking a white handkerchief out and dabbing it across her face, she looked the doctor in his eyes. "I know I'm going to die. And I'm choosing to live the rest of my life outside of the hospital as long as possible. Please understand my wish." And sympathetically the doctor shook his head 'yes'.

For the next half an hour, Dr. Fleming went over with Blair the events that would partake inside her body up until her death. How she would feel, when and what would shut down, when to call the hospital. He gave her a prescription of OxyContin, which originally protested Blair, but Dr. Fleming insisted that within weeks it will be a necessary to relieve her chronic pain from her bones and joints. She listened passively, taking in her fatal future. It wasn't until she made it to the first floor bathroom to blow her nose when she broke down.

**************************

After straightening her 'hair' out and making her best effort to collect herself Blair wandered into the streets to find a cab. There was a limo in front of the clinic, and there was no doubt whose it was. A stage a panic began to overtake Blair's body as Chuck rolled down his window. It had been forever since she looked deep into his eyes, which left her paralyzed. She was expecting him to throw a clever remark her way, but all he said was "What are doing here?"

Finally after being able to breathe again she came up with the most pathetic excuse she could think of. "Just finishing up some charity work Chuck, something you are not acquainted with." She could tell by the look on his face that he didn't take it. "I…uhm…" She was speechless. There was nothing left to do but run. So she did. She ran half a block in 2 inch pumps before she was able to wave down a cab. Once she gave her address to the driver, she looked back to see that Chuck's car was following her. Unknowing what do to do, Blair sat back in her seat and breathed heavily. Her heart was pacing and her stomach was weak. She had been found out by the last person she would ever want to know. Her mind raced of all the people he must have told already. Serena? Nate? Gossip Girl? What was he doing there? Did he follow her after school? None of this was as frightening as the fact that he was tailing her at the moment.

Blair practically held her breath until her destination. She threw her money at the cab driver without counting, since she knew any of her bills would cover the expenses. She heard Chuck slam his car door behind her, but didn't turn around. She was focused on reaching the elevator before him. To her fortune the door was open. She sprinted and drove into the lift as if she was running from a bloody man with a chainsaw. She clicked her button faster than Morse Code. As the doors began to shut to Blair delight, but Chuck's hands stopped them. With the doors re-opening, they were face to face again. Out of breath and feeling faint, Blair backed into the elevator railing. Her head lost support to hit wall as she slowly slid down to the floor. Chuck was quick to catch her before the final collapse. After only moments of blacking out, Blair's eyes fluttered open to see Chuck's face. Immediately beginning to shed tears, Blair buried her head into his clothes and wept for the millionth time that day.

"What's wrong with you Blair? Please, tell me." Chuck asked reciprocating her hug.

Blair tried to tell him through the sobs but her voice would tell her say the words. Chuck picked Blair up as the elevator door opened and carried her up the stairs to her bed. Dorota immediately followed to care for Blair. "I'm fine Dorota. Please give me some privacy right now," she ordered without raising her head. Dorota shot Chuck one of her concerned looks and returned to the kitchen.

"Blair…" Chucks voice was worried. Blair heaved heavily still gaining her breath back. She brought her face to look at him and saw his fear.

"Chuck," she hesitated. "Chuck, I'm dying." She could feel the dire words sting her lips as they left her mouth. She clutched onto his clothing and cried into him again. He stroked her back while she fell to pieces. There was a strong stillness between them both. She was newly processing the shocking information, as was Chuck. Finally after the silence grew stale, Chuck spoke.

"How? I mean what is it?"

"Leukemia. I have fucking leukemia at age 18. I thought it I didn't say it out loud it wouldn't be true," Blair hysterically cried. Blair rarely swore, when she did it always meant something grave. After more tears she sat up in his arms and rested her forehead against his. Their lips were inches apart. "Chuck," her voice rasped "Please don't tell anyone. You haven't told anyone have you?"

"No. No I haven't. But what about Serena? She's been worried. She asked me to follow you today. She's not an idiot. She knows something is seriously wrong." Blair felt his warm breath on her and took it in. The closeness felt incredibly good. She hadn't been intimate with him in months. She couldn't focus on the matters of Serena hiring Chuck as her private investigator right now. All she could do was focus on Chuck's parting lips. "You should really tell her."

"Not yet. I'll let her know when I'm ready." She embraced him, relieved that it was still a secret, a shared secret with Chuck Bass, but still a secret. And there was some comfort in sharing this sorrowful secret with someone she loved.

"How long do you have?"

"A few months," Blair timidly replied. Without speaking Chuck seized her closer to body. She could feel the desperation and adoration between them both, a pulsing energy she never felt from anyone else. She realized how much she needed him, emotionally and physically. "Chuck…I don't have much time for there to be lingering hostility between us. I know I haven't been the friend I should have been and I..."

"You've been wonderful Blair," he interrupted. "I'm the one with all the faults." Chuck, holding Blair's tearful face in his hands, leaned his head down and gently kissed her wet cheek. She lifted her head to look up at him. Their eyes locked as if they were reading each other's thoughts, giving apologizes for past transgressions. As his thumb went to her face to wipe her tears away, their lips naturally were drawn together. She ached for him. In fact she had been longing for him well before her life became fatally fleeting. It was such a misfortune in that it took a serious illness to bring him back to her. Everything in her life up until this absolute moment of adoration simply felt futile. Blair was ashamed she let her vanity and pride blind her from the pure affection that existed between the two of them. Overwhelmed with emotions, she broke the tender kiss and buried her head into the nook of his neck, weeping uncontrollably for the millionth time that day. Chuck was quick to apologize, letting out a weighted sigh. "I'm sorry Blair. I know it's an inappropriate time to…" Blair brought her finger to his lips to silence him.

"Shh. I know." She embraced him, feeling his heart beating fast against hers. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything. There's not enough time. I just… I need you right now Chuck. I don't want to feel this bad anymore. Please make me feel good," she whispered cravingly. "I haven't felt closeness in such a long time, please take me."

"It is alright?" She knew he desired to be with her at this moment, but maybe he was afraid hurting her. She was scared too, but the pleasure would surely outweigh the pain. Out of all the women Chuck had been with he'd never slept with a terminally ill woman before, especially one as fragile as Blair in her current condition.

"Yes, well I don't know. I haven't exactly asked my doctors." She gave him a sensitive smile. "Just be gentle."

"Oh course," Chuck sincerely replied before kissing her forehead. He cautiously laid her down onto her bed, making sure her head hit the pillow nicely by holding his hand behind her head. He breathed deeply into neck, taking in her scent and placed innocent kisses along her jaw line, making her insides stir, which overtook all of the horrible clammy symptoms she has been going through lately. Her heart began beating intensely and unwillingly her body shook. "You ok?"

"Yea, I am. I just, I'm nervous I guess. Your never really been so delicate with me. It's different." Which was true. Their sex life mainly consisted of passionate secret affairs and fierce post-fighting fucks in risky places. In this situation she felt like a vulnerable virgin again and it scared her. He kissed lightly down her neck to her collar bone. "I like it," she moaned. He unbuttoned the top button of her silk blouse and kissed the exposed skin. "I really like it." He proceeded to unfasten the rest of her blouse when she stopped his hand with hers. "Can you leave my top on? I'm…my body isn't in the best condition," Blair laughed at the seriousness.

"You're beautiful Blair," he said as he kissed her sternum and unbuttoned another button, in doing so she stopped again.

"I want to do it," Blair insisted. Oh course her old body was beautiful, the body Chuck was used to. Blair sat up an unfastened the last four buttons of her blouse. Starting into his eyes she peeled of the top to reveal her slender skeletal body. She shamefully looked down, but Chuck tenderly grabbed her chin and brought her eyes to his.

"You're beautiful Blair," he repeated truthfully. His words echoed into her entire entity, causing the tears to flow again. He kissed her on the mouth and held her trembling hands, waiting until she was ready to further engagement. Blair rested her head onto his shoulder. She was exceeding her mind's maximum capacity of incompatible emotions and felt as though she might over flow, as a result her body needed much physical release. She had always trusted him with her body, ever since the first time he took her in his limo that unforgettable night.

Her bare back was exposed, showing him the dreadful bruises she had acquired from her recently falls. With care, he ran his hand down her back, giving feather touches to her contusions. Blair brought her face back to his a parted her mouth enticing him for a kiss, letting him know she was completely ready. As he kissed her he placed her back down onto her bed. She closed her eyes and gave into the pleasure his mouth was offering. She arched her back as his hands ran over her black lace bra, her nipples peaking through the thin fabric. Oh, how she missed this. Chuck slipped her bra strap off, kissing her bare shoulder while lightly stroking her left nipple with his finger tips. After pulling her bra fully off her, Chuck ran is hands down her bare sides and kissed her mouth. Blair arched her back in eagerness. Breaking the kiss he brought his mouth to her breasts. Blair gave a gracious sigh as his tongue flicked over her nipples. Unable to wait for foreplay she quickly reached for the bottom of his sweater and pulled it over his head. There was a pause between them as their eyes met, bodies topless, hearts yearning. She nodded again, letting him know she was okay.

While keeping eyes contact, Chuck unzipped Blair's skirt and discarded it, leaving her in just her underwear. As much as she was sexually aching for him, she was embarrassingly dry in her unmentionables, which was a dire side effect of chemotherapy. His hands graced down her black lace panties, attempting to increase her natural lubrication. Blair, ashamed, quickly apologized, speaking as fast as a hummingbird. "I'm sorry. The chemotherapy. It screws with my sex drive like a menopausal 80 year old woman and it's not you it's me and I…." Chuck quieted her with a kiss.

"Shh…" He insisted and he kissed down her neck and collarbone, to the space between her breasts, down to her stomach and protruding hip bones. Blair bucked her hips up to make her body more accessible to his future actions. He peeled her panties slowly down her legs and off her feet. He took her left foot in hand and lovingly placed kisses up her leg. She let out an uncontainable whine as his warm moist mouth met with her sex. Her legs clamped around him and her hands went to his hair as her pleasured her. Intense excitable shots of pleasure made her moan uninhibitedly. Her fingers and toes began to tingle and lose feeling. She knew he didn't stop in the next minute, she would surely explode.

"Urgh, Chuck. Mmm that's good. Uh, Chuck, I need you inside of me, now," she managed to say with her eyes closed tightly. He positioned himself on top of her, pulling off his pants and boxers on the way. She smiled at him while brushing his hair out of his eyes. She took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply, not caring that her sex still lingered on his lips. She could tell Chuck was trying his best to keep his weight off of her. When it came to sex, Chuck was able to ultimately show his loving and giving aspects. His hand glided down to open her crest to prepare for penetration. Blair grasped him tight as her entered her, not feeling the soreness through the sexual satisfaction. Chuck giftedly kissed her while he moved in and out of her, something no man Blair experienced was able to do with such precision. Additionally he was completely capable of controlling his hands. Oh, he was always conscious about his hands. One was caressing her right breast and supported his weight simultaneously, while the other held onto her upper leg for better alignment while stroking her sensitive area as well.

Blair moaned into his mouth as he slowly moved with care, while her body rose and fell. Beads of sweat formed on both of their bodies while Blair felt her body climaxing "Oh my god, Chuck," Blair managed mutter with her face buried into his shoulder. "I'm going to come." This was always the cue for Chuck peak his sexual release, since he could go for hours. But she knew he loved coming in unison with her, feeling their climaxes crashing into one another. Chuck pushed himself deeper and deeper into her with every thrust, hitting the spot which made her wild. Her toes curled and extremities went numb as she finally reached ultimate release. She could feel his orgasm entwined with hers, flowing through her body. Chuck was quick to roll next to her, releasing his weight from on top of her. He clutched her petite frame close to him, interlinking their legs, and kissed her forehead. They laid next to each other breathless and uncovered, taking in the passing moments. This was the best moment Blair experienced since her diagnosis. For once, Blair was smiling, not crying.

After several minutes Chuck finally spoke. "Blair," he paused until she brought her eyes to look at him, her heart fluttering with anticipation. "Will do me the honor of being my date to the prom?" Blair face filled with joy. To her, this was just as sufficient as him saying 'I love you'.

"Yes, of course," she said still smiling. And with that Blair fell asleep. She had experienced enough intense emotions in one day to last a life time.

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That morning when Chuck awoke next to his sleeping angel, he quietly kissed her and proceeded to dress himself. When he was putting on his sweater he noticed a tiny heart shaped charm sewn into the sleeve. This was the first time Chuck had cried since his father's funeral.

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**Spotted: C and B in a compromising position while shopping together at Bendell's. You all know I'm always a fan of PDA : Put Down the Ascot, Chuck. Prom is a formal not a day at the races. Speaking of races… sorry girls who thought they had a chance at this year's crown, but it looks like the Queen is back in the running.**

**XoXo**

**Gossip Girl**


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